Pennsylvania

Our first day in Pennsylvania, we went to Peace Valley Park to walk around the lake and enjoy the beautiful weather. It was so nice to see trees with color! The majority of the trees had lost their leaves, but the few that had held on were beautiful. 

We also got our first taste of geocaching, which was fun! Some of those are definitely a challenge though. I think I'll stick with birds - they move and make noise!

Other than the trees, my favorite part was the nature center's bird blind. They had lots of feeders and fun birds to watch!

San Antonio Getaway

Due to our anniversary being during the heat of the summer, we decided to postpone doing anything until cooler weather came around. So last Thursday, I left work early, and Roy and I drove down to San Antonio for a long weekend vacation! We stopped in San Marcos on the way down to have dinner at our favorite fast food establishment - Fazoli's! We were especially excited as we don't have Fazoli's in Dallas. After checking into our hotel, we drove downtown and enjoyed strolling around the River Walk.

The next day, we visited the Japanese Tea Garden just outside of downtown. It was free to visit, and the weather provided occasional sprinkling rain to keep us cool. The garden felt like a secluded hideaway. Next we visited the San Antonio Botanical Gardens. We enjoyed meandering through the rose garden, finding some new birds, enjoying some old favorites, and seeing a beautiful view of the downtown skyline.

 

 

 

 

That evening, we visited the lounge in the Tower of the Americas. They had half-price appetizers, so we enjoyed some food and watched the sunset from over 700 feet above ground. 

 

The rest of the weekend was spent walking around the River Walk and browsing shops in La Villita...

Learning a bit about Texas history at the Alamo...

Seeing the largest cowboy boots in the world, bowling, enjoying some delicious food (see first pictures) and enjoying some interesting (and very entertaining!) music at the International Accordion Festival!

San Antonio was definitely worth the visit!

Calm My Anxious Heart, Part IV

This is the fourth and final part of my thoughts from Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. The final three chapters deal with Trusting God with the What Ifs, the If Onlys, and the Whys.

The first two chapters deal with two diseases: the “what if” disease and the “if only” disease. The “what if” disease focuses on the future, leading to anxiety. The “if only” disease looks to the past, leading to anger.

I hate the “what if” game… but I’m really good at playing it. It’s so easy to get caught up in thinking about possible outcomes of the future. And while sometimes I enjoy daydreaming about what could be in all its glory, all too often the thoughts take a turn for the worse. Dillow quotes a lady who was imprisoned under Stalin for thirteen years. She says, “Waiting for an inevitable disaster is worse than the disaster itself.”

Check out this passage from Jeremiah 17.5-8:

Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart turns away from the Lord. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when prosperity comes, but will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, a land of salt without inhabitant.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit.

Trusting in myself will only result in disaster. But trusting in the Lord will result in fruitfulness.

A method to deal with the “what if” disease was given:

- First, ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen.

- Then, prepare to accept it if you have to.

- Finally, calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

Dillow found this process to be a biblical method as seen in the lives of Paul and Esther, both of whom accepted the worst possible outcome (death), accepted that possibility, and made the most of their circumstances.

The “if only” disease.

Dillow writes, “There’s an if in every life – something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there.”

Our “if onlys” usually stem from real problems, but instead of focusing on God, we focus on the problem. We saw this occur when Israel was facing difficulties in the wilderness. Instead of going to God and trusting Him, they just wanted to head back to Egypt.

Whatever occurs in my life and whatever if onlys I may be facing, I must remember that I am here by God’s appointment in His keeping under His training for His time.

The last chapter is Trusting God with the Whys. This chapter focused on the uncommonly discussed book of Habakkuk. Habakkuk asked of God, “How long, O Lord? Why do you allow all this to happen?” God’s answer to him was less than satisfactory from our perspective, but he was to trust God anyway. 

Here was Habakkuk’s response:

Though the fig tree should not blossom,

And there be no fruit on the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail,

And the fields produce no food,

Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,

And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The Lord God is my strength,

And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,

And makes me walk on my high places.

Hab. 3.17-19

This book ended challenging me to say, “Though (fill in the blank with whatever circumstance or difficulty I am facing), Yet I will exult in the Lord!

Ramblings on College

[WARNING: This is me "thinking out loud" as it were. I hadn't planned this post. I just started typing and this is what came out.]

So it looks like the 100 degree days are coming to an end.

YES!

I think this has been the longest summer ever, which sounds like a good thing doesn't it? How I miss the days of summer where all you had to do was play in the sprinklers and eat popsicles. Now people ask, "How was your summer?" and I don't really know what to say. My day during the summer looks like any other day now that I'm a "grown-up."

I've been thinking a lot about college lately... how I miss so many things about that time in my life. Here are a few of those things...

- Learning. In college, I was always learning something new. I love to learn! It excites me to be challenged, to fill my brain with new information, to actually to have think! And the new things changed with each semester... sometimes with each week and each class. There was a great amount of variety in the subjects, so it wasn't mundane. (Now let me clearly state that I don't miss having all of the homework!)

- Profs. I was that weird student who would ask my profs to get coffee so I could get to know them better and perhaps have them impart some of their wisdom to me :) Really, I just like hanging out with people who are mature and can help me grow. I had several who really helped me to grow over my four years in college. Now, I don't really have anyone pouring into me. I've been the leader in many of the church activities that I've been involved in, and I don't have frequent contact with many older and wiser believers. I am only 24... still a youngin'. I'd really like to be mentored and discipled by someone who has been there and can make me more like Christ.

- Friends. I think this may have been the best part of college. There was always someone free to hang out if you wanted to hang out. And even if people weren't free... eh, that paper could wait til later! Life outside of college is busy. Really busy. Everyone is involved in a ton of stuff. Trying to get together spontaneously with someone is difficult to do anymore. And if you're married, that's another dynamic to consider. Throw kids into the mix and that makes it even more interesting! So I go from living, eating, laughing, playing, and doing pretty much everything with my friends every day to seeing some people every now and then. What's up with that?

- Affirmation. Being a student who put a lot of stock in my grades, I loved getting back those tests and papers. Seeing the letters or numbers at the top gave me satisfaction in myself and in a job well done. They made me feel good about myself. I realized how I put too much worth in them, however, needing to be the best in order to feel good about myself. Well, hello real world! No grades here! Oh sure, you'll get a yearly review where they'll tell you if you're doing anything wrong. Nope? Ok great. Keep it up and we'll give you another $.40 raise next year! So I've learned how much I was depending on affirmation from various sources to spur me on.

- Food. Ok, I love to cook. I would love to cook waaay better than I do now! Cooking excites me. Probably because I also love food. :) And while having my own kitchen and being able to cook is awesome, sometimes it is the last thing I feel like doing when I get home from a long day at work. And then I think of Chucks (our cafeteria, for you non-CU people). Now I was never one of the big Chucks complainers. I know some people hated it, thought the food was dreadful, and said we never had enough options. There were times that nothing particular tickled my fancy for dinner that night, but overall, I thought it was a pretty decent spread. And now? Ha! How I would LOVE to just scan a little card and walk in to an all you can eat buffet palace! Ok so that's a slight exaggeration. But c'mon. Waffles. Ice Cream. Mexican Bar. Omelets. Sandwich smashers. All at my fingertips, and all I had to do was put it on my plate! Yes, some days, I really miss Chucks.


So what do we learn from all of this? Become a professional student! While that would be fun, the loans would not. But how can I still have these things that I loved so much in this stage of my life?

Learning - I know that it's up to me if I want to learn. There is so much to be learned, if I only go after it! It is easy to be lulled into the monotony of the same thing day in and day out. But I need to take each day and see what God has in it for me to learn - about Him, about myself, about Roy, about something new!

Profs - While I may not be in school, that doesn't mean there aren't wise individuals willing to spend time with me. But as I did in college, I must seek them out! It's easy to think, oh we only have nine months left here. That's so little time to get to know someone. Did it stop me in college? Nope!

Friends - This is a bit harder because making friends takes time. But I need to be more intentional about hanging out with people and keeping in touch with them through the week to build those friendships.

Affirmation - I'm glad God is teaching me that this is a struggle area for me. Not having grades is helping me to find my worth in Him. My boss has also recently started to make more of an effort to thank us for working hard, which has been appreciated. It's nice to be appreciated without having to place all of your self worth on it.

Food - Ok, so this is probably the only one that I can't do much about. But I can continue to develop my skills at cooking (which goes back to the first area of learning!), and find enjoyment in that.

So I need to:

• find something to learn each day
• ask someone I see as a wise and mature believer to coffee
• contact some of my newer friends to keep building those relationships
• trust God that my worth is totally encompassed in Him and that He will provide in all of these areas!

Draw Me Nearer...

You know how we say, "Today is just one of those days..."? One of those days where stuff just doesn't seem to go right. Days where you just don't really care. Days where you know deep down that this is not our home, but you just can get past that to the joy of the home that awaits.

I have been having a lot of those days lately.

Nothing feels quite right. And I'm struggling to care. Where's my joy? Where's my passion? What is this thing welling up inside me called apathy... and how can I make it go away? These are a few questions I've been wrestling with over the past weeks.

I'm longing for God to move in my heart, to change the way I feel. And yet I keep wondering if I am the problem here. What am I missing? What needs to change?

This morning I pulled into the parking lot at work eight minutes before 8:00. I liked the song on the radio, so I sat and listened, attempting to let its truth wash over me and impact my heart. As the notes faded, a simple piano line began, and I continued to sit in my car. The song that came on was new to me, although it was released several years ago. The words touched my heart and became my prayer for the day:

Draw Me Nearer

For your nearness Lord I hunger
For your nearness Lord I wait
Hold me ever closer Father
Such a love I can't escape

For your nearness I am hoping
For your nearness Lord I long
Have no need of any other
I have found where I belong
Yes, I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord

In your nearness there is healing
What was broken now made whole
Restoration in it's fullness
Lasting hope for all who come

In your nearness I take shelter
Where you are is where I'm home
I have need of only one thing
To be here before your throne
To be here before your throne

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord

And keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
So keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
There's nowhere else I rather be

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer my Lord

song by Meredith Andrews

Listen to the song at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqoIk-jj0uQ&feature=related

I pray that this song touches your heart as it did mine.