San Antonio was definitely worth the visit!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
San Antonio Getaway
San Antonio was definitely worth the visit!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Calm My Anxious Heart, Part IV
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Ramblings on College
So it looks like the 100 degree days are coming to an end.
YES!
I think this has been the longest summer ever, which sounds like a good thing doesn't it? How I miss the days of summer where all you had to do was play in the sprinklers and eat popsicles. Now people ask, "How was your summer?" and I don't really know what to say. My day during the summer looks like any other day now that I'm a "grown-up."
I've been thinking a lot about college lately... how I miss so many things about that time in my life. Here are a few of those things...
- Learning. In college, I was always learning something new. I love to learn! It excites me to be challenged, to fill my brain with new information, to actually to have think! And the new things changed with each semester... sometimes with each week and each class. There was a great amount of variety in the subjects, so it wasn't mundane. (Now let me clearly state that I don't miss having all of the homework!)
- Profs. I was that weird student who would ask my profs to get coffee so I could get to know them better and perhaps have them impart some of their wisdom to me :) Really, I just like hanging out with people who are mature and can help me grow. I had several who really helped me to grow over my four years in college. Now, I don't really have anyone pouring into me. I've been the leader in many of the church activities that I've been involved in, and I don't have frequent contact with many older and wiser believers. I am only 24... still a youngin'. I'd really like to be mentored and discipled by someone who has been there and can make me more like Christ.
- Friends. I think this may have been the best part of college. There was always someone free to hang out if you wanted to hang out. And even if people weren't free... eh, that paper could wait til later! Life outside of college is busy. Really busy. Everyone is involved in a ton of stuff. Trying to get together spontaneously with someone is difficult to do anymore. And if you're married, that's another dynamic to consider. Throw kids into the mix and that makes it even more interesting! So I go from living, eating, laughing, playing, and doing pretty much everything with my friends every day to seeing some people every now and then. What's up with that?
- Affirmation. Being a student who put a lot of stock in my grades, I loved getting back those tests and papers. Seeing the letters or numbers at the top gave me satisfaction in myself and in a job well done. They made me feel good about myself. I realized how I put too much worth in them, however, needing to be the best in order to feel good about myself. Well, hello real world! No grades here! Oh sure, you'll get a yearly review where they'll tell you if you're doing anything wrong. Nope? Ok great. Keep it up and we'll give you another $.40 raise next year! So I've learned how much I was depending on affirmation from various sources to spur me on.
- Food. Ok, I love to cook. I would love to cook waaay better than I do now! Cooking excites me. Probably because I also love food. :) And while having my own kitchen and being able to cook is awesome, sometimes it is the last thing I feel like doing when I get home from a long day at work. And then I think of Chucks (our cafeteria, for you non-CU people). Now I was never one of the big Chucks complainers. I know some people hated it, thought the food was dreadful, and said we never had enough options. There were times that nothing particular tickled my fancy for dinner that night, but overall, I thought it was a pretty decent spread. And now? Ha! How I would LOVE to just scan a little card and walk in to an all you can eat buffet palace! Ok so that's a slight exaggeration. But c'mon. Waffles. Ice Cream. Mexican Bar. Omelets. Sandwich smashers. All at my fingertips, and all I had to do was put it on my plate! Yes, some days, I really miss Chucks.
So what do we learn from all of this? Become a professional student! While that would be fun, the loans would not. But how can I still have these things that I loved so much in this stage of my life?
Learning - I know that it's up to me if I want to learn. There is so much to be learned, if I only go after it! It is easy to be lulled into the monotony of the same thing day in and day out. But I need to take each day and see what God has in it for me to learn - about Him, about myself, about Roy, about something new!
Profs - While I may not be in school, that doesn't mean there aren't wise individuals willing to spend time with me. But as I did in college, I must seek them out! It's easy to think, oh we only have nine months left here. That's so little time to get to know someone. Did it stop me in college? Nope!
Friends - This is a bit harder because making friends takes time. But I need to be more intentional about hanging out with people and keeping in touch with them through the week to build those friendships.
Affirmation - I'm glad God is teaching me that this is a struggle area for me. Not having grades is helping me to find my worth in Him. My boss has also recently started to make more of an effort to thank us for working hard, which has been appreciated. It's nice to be appreciated without having to place all of your self worth on it.
Food - Ok, so this is probably the only one that I can't do much about. But I can continue to develop my skills at cooking (which goes back to the first area of learning!), and find enjoyment in that.
So I need to:
- find something to learn each day
- ask someone I see as a wise and mature believer to coffee
- contact some of my newer friends to keep building those relationships
- trust God that my worth is totally encompassed in Him and that He will provide in all of these areas!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Draw Me Nearer...
You know how we say, "Today is just one of those days..."? One of those days where stuff just doesn't seem to go right. Days where you just don't really care. Days where you know deep down that this is not our home, but you just can get past that to the joy of the home that awaits.
I have been having a lot of those days lately.
Nothing feels quite right. And I'm struggling to care. Where's my joy? Where's my passion? What is this thing welling up inside me called apathy... and how can I make it go away? These are a few questions I've been wrestling with over the past weeks.
I'm longing for God to move in my heart, to change the way I feel. And yet I keep wondering if I am the problem here. What am I missing? What needs to change?
This morning I pulled into the parking lot at work eight minutes before 8:00. I liked the song on the radio, so I sat and listened, attempting to let its truth wash over me and impact my heart. As the notes faded, a simple piano line began, and I continued to sit in my car. The song that came on was new to me, although it was released several years ago. The words touched my heart and became my prayer for the day:
Draw Me Nearer
For your nearness Lord I hunger
For your nearness Lord I wait
Hold me ever closer Father
Such a love I can't escape
For your nearness I am hoping
For your nearness Lord I long
Have no need of any other
I have found where I belong
Yes, I have found where I belong
So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
In your nearness there is healing
What was broken now made whole
Restoration in it's fullness
Lasting hope for all who come
In your nearness I take shelter
Where you are is where I'm home
I have need of only one thing
To be here before your throne
To be here before your throne
So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
And keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
So keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
There's nowhere else I rather be
So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer my Lord
song by Meredith Andrews
Listen to the song at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqoIk-jj0uQ&feature=related
I pray that this song touches your heart as it did mine.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Calm My Anxious Heart, Part III
Greed. Purpose. Worry. Faith.
Greed.
It’s a thriving disease in our culture today. It is easy to become so focused on material things that we lose sight of our eternal perspective.
A lady in Poland who had very little was asked about how she felt about her seemingly difficult life compared to those who had all the modern conveniences. Her response:
Western women have so many things that they don’t need God.
I pray that it is never said of me that I have so many things that I don’t need God! Henry Kissinger said, “To Americans, usually a tragedy is wanting something very badly and not getting it.” Greed is a downward spiral that leads to envy. Envy leads to debt. All lead to discontentment.
To combat the trap of greed, these four scriptural principles can be applied:
- Everything belongs to God.
- Heart attitude is the issue.
- God comes first and possessions come second.
- Possessions are to be used, not loved.
Purpose.
We all want to have one. Too often we live shortsighted lives, never seeing the horizon in the distance. We live a dot-to-dot life, never seeing the big picture but only the next dot. We also often live on hold, waiting for the next thing. Something. Anything to give our lives meaning.
A way to combat a purposeless life is to create a life purpose statement. This is something I’m in the process of right now, but I haven’t completed it yet. Hopefully it will give me a greater focus as I make decisions and continue forward in my walk with the Lord.“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” - Goethe
Worry.
It’s like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere!
Worry is something that I’ve struggled with greatly over the years. It is so easy to focus on my circumstances and not focus on God. Thankfully He has grown me a LOT in this area over the last six years, and He has been faithful in teaching me how to rely on Him in my times of worry. A big part of letting go of worry is recognizing that worry is sin. When I worry, I’m saying “God can’t” in my situation.
George MacDonald said,
"It has been well said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It’s when tomorrow’s burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends. If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this: it is your own doing, not God’s. He begs you to leave the future to Him and to mind the present.”
Faith.
Faith cannot be based on our feelings. Rather, faith is based on God’s Word and rooted in God’s character.
So often we pray for faith, but what we really want is sight. We don’t just want the ability to trust God for the next step, we want to see the next step – and several steps further would be great too! Sight sees ahead and says, “I see that it’s good for me, so God must have sent it,” but faith says, “God sent it, so it must be good for me.”
Lord, keep me from greed that so permeates our culture. Give me purpose in my life that glorifies You. Help me not to worry but to have faith, basing my trust Your Word and Your character.